Sun, Sep
25
2005

Eyebrows Up!

Sun, Sep 25, 2005

Crossposted to the People’s Republic of Seabrook:

Hat tip to Grandinite, honest to God this article appeared on Fox News.

Global warming? Act of God? Nope, says one Idaho weatherman — Hurricane Katrina was part of a man-made plot against America.

Scott Stevens, a meteorologist who for nine years has been forecasting the weather on KPVI-TV in Pocatello, says the Yakuza — the Japanese mafia — is using a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to launch terrific storms against the U.S. mainland.

The devastation of New Orleans was in revenge for the U.S. atomic bombing of Hiroshima, Stevens explains on his Web site. He says it will soon be used again against another major American city.

“A battle in the skies is waged daily. Some battles are won and others lost. We yet know not which,” Stevens writes on the front page of his site. “For years this massive global project has been under way, but only now is it making it to the forefront of the consciousness of those with curious minds.”

Rumors have long circulated of a secret Soviet weather weapon, but Stevens told the Idaho Falls Post Register he became convinced it existed after noticing strange patterns in a Montana cold front in 2004.

“I just got sick to my stomach because these clouds were unnatural and that meant they had [the machine] on all the time,” Stevens told the newspaper. “I was left trying to forecast the intent of some organization, rather than the weather of this planet.”

Nor is it a coincidence that both Katrina and Ivan — the huge hurricane that hit Florida a year ago — are Russian names, Stevens says.

At least one other scientist, however, thinks it’s all a bunch of hooey.

Ya think?!!?

This is another in a regular Fox News called “Out There”, so forgive the tone of this piece if it appears that Fox News is taking this at all seriously. Still, it’s sad. Really sad to see someone smart enough to be a meteorologist could go this bonkers.


Flipper’s Gone Over to the Dark Side!!

Hat tip to Chimera’s Cavern, from the Observer:

It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Experts who have studied the US navy’s cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying ‘toxic dart’ guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet’s smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

Erin asks: “so, do the dolphins wear their toxic dart guns all the time, or did they grab them as they were swept out to sea?”

I ask: “what? Were they out of bad-tempered sea bass with laser beams attached to their foreheads.

Now, the United States has confirmed they have performed military training with dolphins and sea lions. The sea lions are especially dangerous because, if you do manage to escape the water (preferably in a scantily clad bikini with the top coming off), the sea lions will pursue you on land. A big mound of flesh humping its way across the beach. That’s the stuff of horror movie goodness!


On This Day

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