Hush Little Baby...

Hush little baby, don’t you cry,
Papa’s gonna buy you an apple pie

And if that apple pie’s not tart
Papa’s gonna buy you a poison dart

And if that poison dart don’t sting
Papa’s gonna buy you an emerald ring

And if that emerald ring don’t shine
Papa’s gonna buy you a bottle of wine

And if that bottle of wine’s not red
Papa’s gonna buy you a big brass bed

And if that big brass bed don’t lie
Papa’s gonna buy you a piece of sky

And if that piece of sky’s not blue
Papa’s gonna buy you a cow that moos

And if that moo cow gives no milk
Papa’s gonna buy you a ream of silk

And if that ream of silk’s not smooth
Papa’s gonna buy you some fine vermouth

And if that fine vermouth is stale
Papa’s gonna buy you a wooden pale

And if that pale holds no sand
Papa’s gonna buy you a piece of land

And if that piece of land ain’t rich
Papa’s gonna buy you a working witch

And if that working witch don’t curse
Papa’s gonna buy you a silken purse

And if that silken purse not a hit
Papa’s gonna have him a hissy fit

The key to making this song work is simply improvising the rhyme and what fails about the item you’ve decided to buy. Here’s the “official” lyrics.


I’m happy to report that Vivian was happy to accept a bottle of expressed breast milk. This might not seem like a big victory to you, but think of what this allows. Rather than pulling over to the side of the road to feed Vivian (something which almost happened as we approached Detroit Airport yesterday. Erin tried to placate Vivian with her thumb, which sort-of worked, but then Vivian gave Erin the dirtiest look, as if to say “I know you’re holding out on me!” It was a face straight off of Wendy herself), we can instead feed her a bottle on car trips. There was some worry now that Vivian had established herself on the breast, that she’d refuse the bottle, but she happily slurped down what I offered her, without too much of a fight.

This also means that we can now hand off the baby, plus a bottle, to assorted grandparents and go see a three-hour long movie. Goblet of Fire and Narnia, here we come!

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