Sat, Sep
1
2007

So, We're at War with Tuvalu

Sat, Sep 1, 2007

Originally posted from August 31, 2008

tuvalu-pacific.jpg

Okay, it’s been a long day; let me see if I have this right:

At noon today, our esteemed parliamentarians — or 160 of them, anyway — declared war on the island country of Tuvalu, “so we can choose between them and the Turks and Caicos Islands for our tropical paradise.” Despite not clearing the Senate, at all, we then proceeded to execute this declaration of war by sending out RCMP officers to “arrest” the Tuvaluan ambassador. Upon realizing that there is no Tuvaluan embassy in Canada, the cops went to the Fijian embassy instead (saying “close enough”), “arrested” the ambassador and his family, treated them to a barbecue lunch of wings and beer at 24 Sussex Drive, and then released them in a prisoner exchange “for a second round draft pick to be named later.” Have I got that right?

Okay, that last bit was clever, and the Fijian ambassador seemed to take the whole incident with good grace and humour.

But what else is there to say that I haven’t said already? Salmi, the world is laughing at us. Enough is enough!

I will say this: the Rhino leader’s activity has drawn considerable attention toward the South Pacific in general and Tuvalu and Fiji in particular. The press have been pretty on the ball about this. We have overviews in the paper of Tuvalu’s problem with rising sea levels and the intriguing political situation in Fiji. If nothing else, the Rhinos’ upset victory may have opened our eyes, and now their actions are making us take a good look around.

Yeah, I’m stretching. I’ve got to come up with something to mask the deep uncomfortable feelings I have.

I’m hearing reports that James Moore and Stephane Dion are demanding a meeting with Salmi this evening. About bloody time. Majority or no majority, it’s time to lay down the law.


(Update: 10:00 p.m.): The official response from Tuvalu (paraphrased): “If we surrender, can we move to Canada when our island sinks?” Sigh. Forget our country; we live in a world gone mad!


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