So, on Wednesday, Erin and Rosemarie drove back to Vermillion to visit Erin’s grandmother Lucille, who I’m afraid is not doing so well. Erin is scheduled to come back by plane tomorrow evening, through the airport in London, Ontario.
These days, we do not fly if we can help it. We’ve found that, for the cost and stress of carrying along two kids, it’s just as easy, if not easier, simply to drive. However, if we have to fly, we’ve found that making use of the smaller airports west of Toronto’s Pearson makes for a much less stressful trip. There are fewer crowds, it’s easier to park, and it’s a lot quicker getting to and from the gate. I really, really regret the fact that we lost that thrice-daily connection Northwest offered between Waterloo Regional Airport and Detroit. The airport that is just a twenty-minute cab ride away from our house (and which should, frankly, be served by Grand River Transit) now only offers connections to Calgary and Ottawa. Oh, well.
But London does offer flights to Detroit and Chicago, and it is as casual an airport as Waterloo Regional. The only problem is, the airport’s in London. The drive there is as long as the drive to Pearson (albeit less congested).
Well, Erin’s due to arrive at around 9:00 p.m., which past the girls’ bedtime and thus too late for me to pick her up. We thought we might make use of the local airport shuttle. And that’s when I learned that apparently a black hole exists somewhere between Kitchener and London.
Me: Hi. I’d like to book a pickup from London International Airport, dropping off in Kitchener?
Robert Q: I’m sorry. We don’t service Kitchener.
Me (nonplussed): Oh! Um… Can you tell me who services Kitchener?
Robert Q: That would be Airways Transit. I’ll give you their number.
Me: Okay. Thanks.
(I hang up. I call Airways Transit)
Me: Hi, I’d like to book a pickup from London International Airport, dropping off in Kitchener?
Airways: I’m sorry. We don’t service London.
Me (very nonplussed): Okaaaay. Who would you suggest I call, then?
Airways: Call Robert Q. They service London. I’ll give you their number.
Me (sceptical): Okay. Thanks.
(I hang up. I call Robert Q)
Me: Yes, I’d like to book a pickup from London International Airport, dropping off in Kitchener?
Robert Q: I’m sorry. We don’t service Kitchener. Let me get you the number of—”
Me: If you’re about to send me to Airways Transit, don’t. They said they don’t service London and told me to call you.
Robert Q: We service trips between London and Pearson International Airport. We can’t serve stops in Kitchener.
Me: But why?!
Robert Q: It’s a licensing issue.
Me: Okay, I know that you’re just an attendant and this is out of your control, but I’d like to get it on record that this is a seriously screwed up situation. Okay?
Robert Q: As you wish, sir. Have a nice day.
So, for the record, it is utterly impossible to book airport shuttle service between London International Airport and Kitchener. You can book service from London to Sarnia, London to Windsor and London to freaking Tilbury, but not London to Kitchener. Because Robert Q and Airways Transit are so scared of treading on each other’s toes. So this one route gets no service whatsoever. That’s dumb.
I regret I didn’t ask if maybe Erin could jump from the moving vehicle as it passed Kitchener on the highway, or if maybe she could take Robert Q to Pearson Airport and transfer to Airways there.