Mon, Aug
3
2015

A Summation of Ontario's Transit Policy

Mon, Aug 3, 2015

LIBERALS: Gee, we need to spend $50 Billion over the next twenty-five years in order to move our public transit network into the 21st century, but we don’t have $50 Billion in the folds of our couch. How are we going to raise the money? Increase gas taxes?

CONSERVATIVES/NDP: NOOOO!

LIBERALS: Increase sales taxes?

CONSERVATIVES/NDP: NOOOO!

LIBERALS: Levy road tolls and congestion pricing?

CONSERVATIVES/NDP: NOOOO!

LIBERALS: Raise income taxes and corporate taxes?

CONSERVATIVES/CTF: OVER OUR COLD DEAD BODIES!

LIBERALS: Impose budget cuts to other government sectors?

NDP/PUBLIC SECTOR: NOOOO!

LIBERALS: Okay. I guess I’ll just have to sell off a partial stake in Ontario Hydro.

EVERYBODY: OH, DEAR GOD! YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST!!!

LIBERALS: Okay, then. I guess we’ll just have to scale back our transit commitments.

CONSERVATIVES/NDP: THE LIBERALS ARE BREAKING THEIR PUBLIC TRANSIT PROMISES!

See, this is why we can’t have nice things.


On This Day

blog comments powered by Disqus