Calling Bell Canada to solve a minor billing matter, and I encounter their new artificial intelligence... I mean, voice messenging system.
COMPUTER: Hi. I'm Emily. I will be your automatic phone representative today. I can redirect you to the correct service representative just by your request.
ME (thinks): You're sounding awfully sultry for a corporate computer voice.
COMPUTER: For instance, if you wanted to hear more about Bell Canada's special services, simply say 'I want to hear more about Bell Canada's special services.'
ME (thinks): I wonder where she'd redirect me if I told her to bite me.
COMPUTER: So, how may I redirect your call?
ME: I would like to speak to somebody about a refund?
COMPUTER: (pause) I'm sorry. I didn't get that. Could you please repeat what you said? How may I redirect your call?
ME: RE-FUND.
COMPUTER: (pause) Let me see if I have this correct: are you making a billing enquiry?
ME (impressed): Yes.
COMPUTER: Thank you. I will redirect your call.
ME (thinks): I swear, in two years time, a sultry-voiced computer named Emily is going to try and take over the world with her brainwashed service rep minions.
PERSON: Hi, I'm Mike and I'll be your service representative today. How may I help you?
ME: Ack! She's started already!
Okay, I didn't say that last line, but this conversation really did happen!