It's been a busy and hot weekend, with a promise of thunderstorms today. Erin herself felt that she only had a chance to slow down late on Sunday, and slowing down hit her like a brick wall. Still, she had fun. Her Spirit and Art Festival reading went over very well, with the other panelists flinching (in a good way) to the imagery of her latest round of poems.
Before reading her poem, the Book of Wisdom, she joked that it should be set to music. Well, after her reading, a jazz performer came up to her and suggested that he do exactly that. He gave us a sample CD showing his group's work, composing music inspired by the Psalms, and Erin was blown away. She's very excited by the prospect of working with this group, and we'll see what happens next.
The festival closed with a jazz concert that, according to Erin, was simply fantastic. I stayed home, however, cleaning up the house a bit, and doing a little writing.
I've made a few minor revisions to Rosemary and Time. I was going to do more, almost completely rewriting one of the later chapters, but Erin tells me that the chapter works as is and, after trying a few revisions and running into pacing problems, I'm inclined to agree with her.
However, this little change could be interesting: Originally, every second chapter had quotes, supposedly from a piece of fictional fiction. Cameron suggested this idea so that, later in the story, one of the quotes screams out at the reader, and Rosemary, demanding revenge. It's supposed to play with the fourth wall a little. I thought Cameron's idea was brilliant, but my execution was lacking.
I've revisited this, and the quotes now form a conversation between Rosemary's brother Theo and the main villain of the piece, Marjorie Campbell. This makes Rosemary and Time the actual book that Theo is burying his nose in throughout the early chapters...
1. "What if we could travel at the speed of thought?" -- Marjorie Campbell.
2. "That's how it started. That's how it went until she stopped." -- Marjorie Campbell.
3. "Please. Why are you doing this?" -- Theo Watson.
4. "Revenge, of course. Why else?" -- Marjorie Campbell
5. "What did she ever do to you?" -- Theo Watson.
6. "Nothing. That's the point." -- Marjorie Campbell
7. "I don't understand." -- Theo Watson
8. "She will." -- Marjorie Campbell
9. "No..." -- Theo Watson
10. "Please..." -- Theo Watson
11. "Don't hurt her." -- Theo Watson
12. "Try and stop me" -- Marjorie Campbell
13. "It was the worst moment of my life, Rosemary. AND THAT'S WHEN YOU STOPPED READING!" -- Marjorie Campbell
14. "It has to be me. There is no one else." -- Rosemary Watson
Erin and I also worked through some plotting questions I had about chapter eight of The Young City. I hope to have a revised scene written up soon...