News You Do Not Want to Print...

What you may have heard in the corridor outside a press conference as a Martin County deputy gathers his notes before meeting the press, assuming the conversation had been taped.

“So, we have a suspect, right? A Mr. Blair, correct? That’s B-L-A-I-R, correct? And it was an anonymous tip that caused us to nab him? Good. So… what was he driving? A white four-door Pontiac? Good. And he was taken in and searched, correct? And he was found to have how much crack cocaine on his person? $300? Okay. That doesn’t seem worthy of a press conference, really. So, where was the crack found? Where? In his where? Oh, are you serious? C’mon, you cannot be serious. I mean, really, you cannot be serious. Do you really want me to go out there and say what you just told me to the press? I’ll be a laughing stock! STOP LAUGHING! C’mon, guys, there’s got to be somebody else who can present this. What do you mean they’ve all got the flu? What about the Sheriff? Has he got the flu too? Oh, so he’s here, then. Well, it’s his office, why doesn’t he get to meet the press? What? He’s pulling seniority on me? DAMMIT! (sigh) All right! All right! I’m going out there. And let me just say that I hate you all!”


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