LIBERALS: Gee, we need to spend $50 Billion over the next twenty-five years in order to move our public transit network into the 21st century, but we don’t have $50 Billion in the folds of our couch. How are we going to raise the money? Increase gas taxes?
LIBERALS: Increase sales taxes?
LIBERALS: Levy road tolls and congestion pricing?
LIBERALS: Raise income taxes and corporate taxes?
CONSERVATIVES/CTF: OVER OUR COLD DEAD BODIES!
LIBERALS: Impose budget cuts to other government sectors?
NDP/PUBLIC SECTOR: NOOOO!
LIBERALS: Okay. I guess I’ll just have to sell off a partial stake in Ontario Hydro.
EVERYBODY: OH, DEAR GOD! YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST!!!
LIBERALS: Okay, then. I guess we’ll just have to scale back our transit commitments.
CONSERVATIVES/NDP: THE LIBERALS ARE BREAKING THEIR PUBLIC TRANSIT PROMISES!
See, this is why we can’t have nice things.